Ah yes the pursuit of physical perfection! In our society today we can't escape it! It's in our face constantly! Tighten this, tone that, cover this, conceal that, and on and on it goes. Women (and men) are innudated with messages of not being good enough. You aren't pretty enough, sexy enough, thin enough, toned enough, tan enough, flawless enough.... It's tough to fight this distorted ideal we are fed. We want to not care about what others think or how we look, but we can't help those thoughts creeping into our minds and negatively impact our present moment experiences.
I know we can all relate to this in some way. Whether we are so pre-occupied with how we look in a bathing suit that we don't enjoy the time at the pool or we are so concerned with our looks that we can't enjoy our time on a date or at an event...I'm sure we all have had experiences like these. And it sucks! When we look back on our lives we might find that we missed out on truly enjoying experiences and connecting because we were so consumed with our physical appearance that we weren't present.
Physical perfection is a trap and completely unrealistic! Yet we get stuck in the pursuit and desire of it. The truth is real beauty is found in our imperfections.
So why do we trade connection for perfection? I am not 100% sure of the answer to this question, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with protection. If we are perfect we believe (most likely unconsciously) we will avoid blame, judgement, rejection, etc. We are scared if others see the our real self (flaws and all) that they won't love us and humans are wired with a storng need for love & connection. We are fearful of the possibility of not being loved, so we try to be perfect to avoid this possibility. Yet perfection is impossible and while we pursue perfection we lose the one thing we desire - love & connection.
We have to trade perfection pursuit and worry about what other's will think with the belief "I am good enough". The reality is we don't love perfect people, we love real people. We must search within ourselves and find the courage to show our real selves and take the risk of rejection, judgement, etc. The true joy in living is found being present and connected to others & your life experiences. I vote it's time to try something new and start being real and stop buying into the BS perfection idea!
When you ponder what you would like to work on or accopmlish in 2014 maybe it's time to try something new. Maybe instead of setting a goal to lose a certain amount of weight or make a certain amount of money you could set a goal to discover the real you and what makes you happy. Maybe your New Year's resolution can be to be more present, connect with others more authenticially, and share the real you with the world. Trust me you won't be good enough when you lose 20 lbs, make 6 figures, when others think you are a good parent and so on... You are good enough now! So how about shifting from perfection to being the best version of you, you can be?
- How about stepping out of your comfort zone and letting down the shield of perfection?
- How about enjoying life instead of hating yourself?
- How about practicing not worrying about what others think about your looks and body and living in the moment?
- How about not letting others decide what you can and cannot do, say, wear, etc?
Maybe you can get one step closer to feeling more comfortable in your own skin? And you know those people you love and admire, the ones who are down to earth, real and seem to enjoy life? Maybe you can let them inspire you to be YOU!
Look, I am on this journey with you! I have moments of confidence, freedom and courage and then moments of fear & being pre-occupied with what others think. I work everyday to embrace my humanness and accept myself. I use to be terrified to leave the house without makeup on and now there are days I wear makeup and days I don't. It's a journey for me too! I don't always feel beautiful, sometimes I fear the judgement of others. All I can do is bring myself back to focusing within and remember I am enough the way I am and those that love me, love the real me (flaws and all!). I have wasted way too much time trying to be perfect inside and out only to realize I gained nothing and lost what I truly want. So now, older and a bit wiser, I choose to work at being real!
Are you ready and willing to join me on this journey to let go of perfection and embrace connection? It's time to KO unrealistic expectations and fight for the love and joy in life we all truly desire!
Oh and those beauty ideals society has all of us pursuing...they aren't real! Check out this video!